Unfortunately my mother (who lives alone, and on another continent) is not coping with things, and is suffering from physical and psychological problems. The timing could not be worse, as I have nearly gone through all my savings getting my business set up. I have to decide the best way to go forward, as it seems I will have to go home to try and deal with things (I’m an only child). I am finding this experience traumatic, and feel quite alone in the world.

Thank you for blogging about this - as a self-employed person, one’s own sickness or disability is regarded as the worst case scenario. But this is much worse - and requires some difficult decisions.

Best wishes to you and your ill parent!

Of course my answer would always be I have to take care of my family members, then work. But sometimes it could be a tough decision. But we freelancers have few choices when dealing such difficulties.

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Sadly though, I do not have any easy answer as I don’t think there is any easy answer to such a crisis. A lot will depend on how long the crisis goes on and how severe. At a certain point, one has to make the best choice that they can and that may include getting help from others. One person can only do so much and caregivers must take care of themselves too.

There is a saying, ” a mother is only as happy as her un-happiest child” and to a certain extent, I think it applies to everyone close to us. If they are in crisis, it will affect us and if we work at home, in an office or even if we are retired, it will add stress.

My step-father got liver cancer this year & the stress it caused my mother and him, affected us deeply despite being continents apart. The same is true of my father’s recent crisis. Fortunately, I have other siblings that help nearby and things are looking better, but we always have to be at the ready to drop everything and fly in for reinforcement.

As a member of the sandwich generation, I find it hard to know how to walk that line in balance and I suppose each of us learn as we walk through it. My heart sends you and your loved ones peace and health!